Thought processing
by Tiva-for-life
Summary: Tony, Ziva and Gibbs' thoughts after Tony leaves Ziva in Israel S11E02 I will be writing another short story set a few months ahead.


Tony sat in the stiff, overused chair - right beside the wing of the airplane. He held Ziva's necklace tight in his fist and stared blankly at his 'I will' list. He had helped Ziva make herself one just hours beforehand, yet his own was so much more difficult. He had already accomplished most of his childhood dreams. But this wasn't about his childhood dreams anymore. This was about what he wanted now. And all he could think of was being able to hold Ziva in his arms - in DC. The thought of her staying in Israel made his stomach turn. How was he meant to protect her from the other side of the world? Not that she needed his protection. The next twelve hours was going to drive him insane, constantly thinking about whether or not he could have convinced her to come home with him. Should he have pushed harder? Or would that have made her put up walls again.

"I will love her." he scrawled on the piece of paper before folding it up and putting it in his jacket pocket. He was content with that - loving her - for the rest of his life. Eternity didn't feel so long... not if he had her.

Watching the plane take off had been harder than Ziva had anticipated. When she kissed Tony, it was meant to be a goodbye kiss, but she kept playing it over and over in her mind. It didn't feel like the end, it felt like a whole new beginning. And then watching him leave felt like everything being taken away from her again, but all at once. Why did he have to be so damn convincing. If she didn't know better, she probably would have packed all her belongings and been sitting on that plane beside him, holding his hand, leaning her head on his shoulder, picturing the future - them, together. But staying in Israel was something she absolutely had to do. Without her father's influence, she was able to see her country in a more beautiful way - take the time to find her true self. She had written a new aspiration list with Tony. Now was the time to work towards achieving them. None of them were location specific, however. She felt conflicted, more conflicted than she had been in a long time. Tony and herself had danced around the possibility of a relationship for years, but to actually considering taking that step to make it a reality... the thought of it made her stomach flip. It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling though. It was kind of like fear and doubt, mixed with excitement and curiosity. But then when she thought about leaving things how they stood at this precise minute, she only felt sorrow. Were these feelings enough to sway her decision? She was a faithful believer in following your head, not your heart, but she had said just hours ago to Tony that she needed to follower her heart now. Why was her heart more conflicted than her head? She picked up the phone to call the only person she trusted to help make her decision. But would he want to help with this? She hadn't spoken to him in months, and as far as he knew she was still off the grid. It was his 'rule' that had stopped her and Tony from being together in the first place. she dialed the number, but disconnected before it had a chance to go through. How was she supposed to start this conversation? How was she supposed to explain why she was so desperate for some advice? Tony's flight was due to land in six hours - perhaps she should just wait to talk it over with him? But she didn't know where he stood. Maybe he didn't want what she wanted. Once again she dialed the number she knew off by heart. She stared at the screen, about to hang up again, when she heard the faded voice.

"Hello, Ziva." the tiny speaker from the phone sounded quietly. She held the phone up to her ear contemplating whether or not it was too late to hang up again. "Ziva?"

"Hello Gibbs." she finally spoke. The silence was bearable, but she knew she had to end it. "I -"

she started to speak but Gibbs interrupted. "Ziva, you don't have to explain anything. But I do wish you had called me earlier. Or even DiNozzo, he's been trying to find you for months now."

"I know. Gibbs, he... uh... he found me." she heard something from Gibbs' end of the line - it sounded kind of like a laugh, like a 'damn, he actually did it' kind of laugh. "He's on a flight back home now. He should be back in several hours."

"He's coming back already... and alone?"

"I'm not coming back Gibbs."

"You mean you're not coming back... yet."

"No Gibbs. I am not coming back, at all. That is actually what I wish to talk to you about." the silent, listener Gibbs was back. The silence was her sign to continue. "I cannot come back to the states. There is still so much I need to do, that I think I will be able to do more successfully here in Israel. I do have one problem with this, however." she pondered her words for a moment, wondering exactly how to word this delicate situation.

"You're not ready to let go of DiNozzo." Gibbs said for her. A great deal more bluntly than she would have said it but, as usual, he was 100% correct. "Then don't." he finished before hanging up, leaving her to seriously consider his words.

As soon as he saw the number appear on the screen he knew it would be Ziva. What he didn't expect was for her to need his advice in relation to DiNozzo. He knew this day would eventually come though. From their first case there was this tension that surrounded them - so strong everyone picked up on it. He had suspected them of sleeping together several times over the years, but his suspicion had always been laid to rest one way or another. He was forever grateful to them for respecting his rules, rule 12 in particular. He understands just how difficult it must have been for them at times. Their love for one another was clear as day to everyone around them. And now, if Ziva did intend on leaving NCIS for good, there was no longer any reason for them not to act upon their feelings for one another. They just needed to push past the fear. And Ziva had to be in the same country.

The flight was long.

Possibly the longest twelve hours in the history of the entire universe.

The plane was cramped, children were restless and crying, people were complaining about God knows what - everything they possibly could.

The 'hot meal' they served up for dinner was in fact cold.

The headphones given out so each passenger could listen to their own music were broken.

The head pillow was ripped and the stuffing mostly pulled out.

And to make everything worse, one of the surrounding passengers was throwing up non-stop for almost three quarters of the flight and another had clearly eaten some bad curry the night before.

But now it was all over. The flight had landed, everyone had departed the coach and luggage was collected. Now for a forty-five minute taxi ride, then it was home sweet home.

After having so much time with nothing to do but seriously think about everything that had happened, Tony couldn't help but feel okay about where he was right now. Yes, Ziva might still be in Israel, but he had done what he wanted to do. He, in his own way, let her know how he felt about her. He let her know that she was never going to be alone in the world as long as he was alive and well. And she in return let him know that he was loved. Knowing that he had her love was enough for him, for now. Enough for him to be able to get through each day with a smile on his face. He would keep in contact with her, for sure. Maybe a long distance relationship could work – but only if she was ready to give it a go. He wasn't prepared to force her into something she didn't want. Her friendship meant more to him than anything else, and he was going to jeopardize it. But he would never feel about anyone else, the way he does about Ziva David.


End file.
